Self and Systems

Self and Systems

“Someone who is self-centered or self-absorbed tends to be focused on themselves and may have difficulty showing consideration for others.” [https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-someone-is-too-self-centered-7484081]

If someone suggested that you’re self-centered or self-absorbed, you’d probably be offended. But our dominant cultural paradigm — what I’m calling the Conventional Paradigm — drives us to behave and make decisions as if we were exactly that. We believe we have to look out for number one, play the game and play to win, keep climbing. We post selfies and track likes.

It is natural, imperative even, that each of us look after our own self-interest. We need to take care of ourselves so we can be our best selves and contribute to the world in our own unique way. In Nature, when an organism acts in its own self interest, it does so in harmony with the system in which it participates. There is give and take, respect and reciprocity, synergy and balance. In an ecosystem, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

In our human constructs and culture, when we look after our own self-interest, it is with the intent of getting more from the system than we give, ideally much more. That’s how we accumulate wealth. We admire and celebrate those who are really good at getting more than they give. We choose to be intentionally ignorant of the negative impacts that acting in our own self-interest has on other living beings, human and otherwise. The “real world” is a negative sum game.

When we follow the Conventional Paradigm, we tend to be focused on ourselves and have difficulty showing consideration for others. We are self-centered and self-absorbed.  

If that makes you cringe, know that there is an alternative and you likely practice it often — when you are living from your Natural Paradigm. When you are with those you love, you care as much or more about their welfare and happiness than your own. When you’re thoroughly enjoying a walk in the woods, you feel at one with Nature, not in competition with the trees and the birds. When you open the door and are greeted by the fresh smell of rain, you want to share that joy with others, not hoard it or expect people to admire you because you smelled it before they did. 

When we follow our Natural Paradigm, we tend to be focused on others — our friends and family, our community, our society, Nature — and find it natural to show consideration for others. We are ecosystem-centered and absorbed in love of life.

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If you’d like to explore your own Natural Paradigm, please request a free Tiny Transformation workbook [ https://www.wildhazel.net/resources.html ]. If you’re really curious, contact me and we can set up a time to chat.